상담 전공 석사과정생의 우울 경험에 대한 자전적 내러티브 탐구

국문 초록 (Abstract)

본 연구는 상담 전공 석사과정생으로서 연구자가 오랜 시간 경험해 온 우
울이 삶의 맥락 속에서 어떻게 경험되고, 어떠한 의미로 재구성되는지를 탐
색하고자 하였다. 기존의 우울 관련 연구가 주로 증상, 원인, 치료 효과에 초
점을 두어 왔다면, 본 연구는 우울을 하나의 병리적 대상이 아니라 한 인간
의 삶과 관계, 정체성 속에서 경험되는 살아 있는 과정으로 이해하고자 하였
다. 이를 위해 자전적 내러티브 탐구 방법을 적용하여, 연구자의 삶 속에서
우울이 드러난 주요 경험과 그 변화의 과정을 시간의 흐름에 따라 서술하고
해석하였다. 본 연구는 상담학을 배우는 과정 속에서 우울 경험이 개인의 삶
에서 어떤 의미로 다시 읽히게 되었는지, 그리고 그 경험이 자신을 이해하는
태도와 삶을 바라보는 시선에 어떠한 변화를 가져왔는지를 탐색하는 데 목적
을 두었다.
연구 결과, 상담 공부 이전 연구자의 우울 경험은 ‘관계 속에서 흔들리는
나’, ‘쉼을 잃어버린 시간’, ‘드러내지 못한 슬픔’, ‘우울 속에서 살아감’이라는
네 가지 흐름으로 재구성되었다. 이 시기의 우울은 관계 속에서 형성되고 강
화되며, 숨기고 견뎌야 할 감정으로 인식되어 연구자를 점차 소진시키는 경
험으로 나타났다. 우울은 개인의 결함이나 약함으로 이해되었고, 삶 속에서
감추어야 할 대상으로 자리하고 있었다.
반면 상담을 공부하는 과정에서 드러난 우울 경험은 ‘나를 마주하는 공부
시간’, ‘인간관계 속에서 재발견한 나’, ‘다채로운 감정을 함께 품은 나’라는
- ii -
세 가지 흐름으로 정리되었다. 이 과정에서 우울은 더 이상 제거해야 할 문
제가 아니라, 자신을 마주하게 하고 삶의 방향을 점검하도록 이끄는 내적 신
호로 재해석되었다. 감정과 함께 머무는 경험과 관계 속에서 경계를 세워 가
는 변화는 연구자로 하여금 우울을 삶의 속도와 방향을 조율하는 신호로 받
아들이게 하였으며, 이는 자기 이해와 존재 인식의 확장으로 이어졌다.
이러한 탐구를 통해 상담 전공 석사과정생의 우울 경험은 네 가지 의미로
정리되었다. 첫째, 우울은 나를 무너뜨리는 결함이 아니라 과부하 속에서 자
신을 지키기 위해 작동하는 내적 신호로 재해석되었다. 둘째, 상담을 배우는
과정은 우울 속에 가려져 있던 자신을 다시 만나고, 불완전한 존재로서의 자
신을 수용하며 ‘살아 있는 나’로 회복되는 경험으로 나타났다. 셋째, 우울은
타인의 기대에 자신을 맞추며 잃어버렸던 삶의 방식을 비추고, 관계 안에서
자신의 자리를 다시 세워 가도록 이끄는 계기가 되었다. 넷째, 연구자는 우울
과의 만남을 통해 ‘우울보다 더 큰 나’를 발견하였고, 우울을 제거해야 할 병
리가 아니라 함께 살아갈 수 있는 내적 동반자로 받아들이게 되었다.
이러한 결과는 우울을 증상이나 병리로 한정하지 않고, 자기 이해를 심화
시키고 관계를 재구성하며 상담자로서의 정체성을 형성해 가는 심리·존재적
자원으로 조명한다는 점에서 의의를 지닌다. 또한 상담을 배우는 과정 자체
가 개인의 우울 경험을 새롭게 의미화하고 삶의 태도를 전환하는 중요한 장
이 될 수 있음을 시사한다.

목차 (Table of Contents)

• Ⅰ. 서론 ·········································································································1
• 1. 내러티브의 시작 ················································································· 1
• 1) ‘나는 왜 이렇게 사는 게 힘든가?’라는 질문의 시작··················1
• 2) ‘나는 왜 이럴까’라는 물음과 답을 찾아 나선 여정················ 2
• 3) 대학원에서 마주한 낯선 질문들 ··················································3
• 2. 연구의 필요성과 목적 ······································································· 5
• 3. 연구 퍼즐 ···························································································10
• Ⅱ. 이론적 배경 ··························································································11
• 1. 우울의 개념과 특성 ········································································· 11
• 1) 우울의 정의 ····················································································11
• 2) 미디어가 그리는 우울의 모습 ····················································12
• 2. 우울에 대한 심리학적 이해 ··························································· 14
• 3. 기존의 우울 경험에 관한 선행 연구 ········································· 18
• 1) 우울에 대한 양적 연구의 고찰 ··················································19
• 2) 우울에 대한 질적 연구의 고찰 ··················································24
• 3) 상담학 및 상담자 맥락에서의 우울 연구 ································29
• Ⅲ. 연구 방법 ······························································································ 31
• 1. 질적 연구로서 내러티브 탐구 ······················································· 31
• 1) 질적 연구의 개념과 특징 ····························································31
• 2) 내러티브 탐구 ················································································32
• 3) 자전적 내러티브 탐구 ··································································34
• 2. 연구 참여자 ······················································································· 35
• 3. 내러티브 탐구 과정 및 절차························································· 36
• - iv -
• 1) 현장에 존재하기 ············································································37
• 2) 현장에서 현장 텍스트로 이동하기············································38
• 3) 현장 텍스트 구성하기 ··································································39
• 4) 현장 텍스트에서 연구 텍스트로 이동하기 ······························41
• 5) 연구 텍스트 구성하기 ··································································42
• 4. 연구 자료 분석 ················································································· 43
• 5. 연구 참여자에 대한 윤리적 고려 ················································· 44
• IV. 연구 결과 ······························································································47
• 1. 상담 공부 이전, 우울과 만난 나의 이야기 ································ 47
• 1) 관계 속에서 흔들리는 나 ····························································47
• 2) 쉼을 잃어버린 시간 ······································································63
• 3) 드러내지 못한 슬픔 ······································································68
• 4) 우울 속에서 살아감 ······································································75
• 2. 상담을 공부하는 과정에서 드러난 나와 우울··························· 80
• 1) 나를 마주하는 공부 시간 ··························································80
• 2) 인간관계 속에서 재발견한 나 ····················································88
• 3) 다채로운 감정을 함께 품은 나 ··················································92
• 3. 상담 전공 석사과정생의 우울 경험 ············································· 99
• 1) 나를 지키기 위한 신호 ································································99
• 2) 우울 속에 가려진 진짜 나에게로 돌아오는 여정················100
• 3) 관계 안에서 나의 자리를 다시 세움 ······································101
• 4) ‘우울보다 더 큰 나’를 발견함 ··················································102
• V. 논의 및 결론 ·······················································································104
• 1. 요약 ···································································································104
• 2. 논의 ···································································································106
• - v -
• 1) 개인의 정당성 ··············································································108
• 2) 실제적 정당성 ··············································································109
• 3) 사회적 정당성 ··············································································110
• 3. 의의 및 제언 ··················································································· 112
• 1) 의의 ································································································112
• 2) 제언 ································································································113
• 4. 내러티브 탐구를 마치며 ······························································· 114
• 참고문헌 ······································································································116
• ABSTRACT ·····························································································125