중년 남성 자살생존자의 삶의 의미에 대한 내러티브 탐구

국문 초록 (Abstract)

본 연구는 중년기 자살생존자의 삶의 경험을 내러티브 탐구 방법으로 분석하여, 자살 시도 이전의 삶, 자살 시도 이후 생존자로서의 삶, 자살생 존자로서 삶에 부여된 의미를 심층적으로 이해하는 데 목적이 있다. 연구 참여자는 62세 중년 남성으로, 이혼, 실직, 가족 단절과 같은 생애 스트레 스가 누적된 상황에서 자살을 시도하였으나 생존하였으며, 이후 뇌경색의 발병을 겪고 회복 과정에서 가족·종교·지역사회와의 관계를 재형성하였다. 연구자는 2025년 7월부터 8월까지 총 8회의 심층 면담을 수행하고, 수집된 현장 텍스트를 분석하였다.
연구 참여자의 삶의 의미 형성과정은 여섯 가지 상위 주제로 구조화되 었다. 첫째, 영아기 생존 위기와 가족 내 상실 경험은 자기 무가치감과 죄 책감을 중심으로 한 취약한 자기개념을 형성하였다. 둘째, 소년기부터 수 행한 조기 성인 역할은 삶의 의미를 자기 돌봄이 아닌 책임과 희생 중심 으로 고착화하였다. 셋째, 성인기에는 경제적 성취와 사회적 인정을 통해 서만 존재 가치를 확인하는 성취 중심의 외재적 의미 체계가 형성되었다. 넷째, 이혼, 실직, 건강 악화와 같이 중년기의 연쇄적 상실은 의미 체계를 붕괴시키며 심각한 의미 공백을 초래하였다. 다섯째, 의미 붕괴가 누적된 결과 자살 시도가 발생하였으며, 삶의 의미 상실이 임계점에 이른 결과로 이해되었다. 여섯째, 자살 이후에는 가족관계, 종교 공동체, 지역사회 활동 을 통해 자기 돌봄과 관계 회복을 중심으로 한 새로운 의미 체계가 재구 성되었다.
이를 바탕으로 중년 남성 자살생존자의 삶의 이야기로부터 도출된 의미 구조를 분석한 결과로 첫째, 자살 시도 이전의 삶은 관계적 책임의 과중함 과 정체성 붕괴가 반복되며 고립이 심화되는 과정으로 나타났다. 둘째, 자 살 시도 이후의 삶은 신체적 취약성과 심리적 고통이 증가했으나, 가족과 의 재연결, 공동체 참여, 일상적 자기 돌봄을 통해 회복의 가능성을 탐색 하는 과정이 확인되었다. 셋째, 자살생존자로서 삶의 의미는 타인을 위한 존재 방식에서 자기 돌봄과 살아 있음의 가치를 재발견하는 방향으로 재 구성되었다. 이러한 결과는 중년 남성 자살생존자의 회복이 단순한 증상 완화가 아니라 삶의 의미와 정체성을 재구성하는 서사적, 발달적 과정임을 시사한다.
본 연구는 자살생존자의 경험이 단편적 위험 요인 분석을 넘어 생애 전 체의 맥락 속에서 이해되어야 함을 강조하며, 중년기 자살생존자를 위한 상담 및 지원체계 구축과 의미 재구성 중심의 개입 필요성을 제시한다. 마 지막으로 본 연구의 의의와 후속 연구를 위한 제언에 대해 논하였다.

목차 (Table of Contents)

• 국문초록 ······························································································ ⅳ
• Ⅰ. 서 론 ······················································································· 01
• 1. 연구의 목적 및 필요성 ············································································ 01
• 2. 연구퍼즐 ······································································································ 04
• 3. 용어의 정의 ································································································ 05
• Ⅱ. 이론적 배경 ················································································· 08
• 1. 중년 남성 ···································································································· 08
• 1) 중년기 발달적 관점 ················································································ 08
• 2) 중년 남성의 심리사회적 특성 ······························································ 10
• 2. 자살생존자 ·································································································· 12
• 1) 자살 ············································································································ 12
• 2) 자살생존자 ································································································ 14
• 3) 자살생존자에 대한 사회적 인식 ·························································· 15
• 3. 삶의 의미 ···································································································· 17
• Ⅲ. 연구방법 ······················································································· 19
• 1. 연구설계 ······································································································ 19
• 2. 연구절차 ······································································································ 21
• 1) 현장에 들어가기 ······················································································ 21
• - i -2) 현장에서 현장 텍스트로 이동하기 ······················································ 22
• 3) 현장 텍스트 구성하기 ············································································ 23
• 4) 현장 텍스트에서 연구 텍스트로 이동하기 ········································ 24
• 5) 연구 텍스트 작성하기 ············································································ 26
• 3. 연구 참여자 ································································································ 27
• 4. 윤리적 고려 ································································································ 30
• Ⅳ. 중년 남성 자살생존자의 삶의 이야기 ··································· 32
• 1. 의미가 흔들린 출발점: 존재 가치의 최초 붕괴 ································· 33
• 1) ‘죽어도 되는 존재’라는 상처 ································································ 33
• 2) 형을 실명시킨 기억: 죄책감의 의미 각인 ········································· 34
• 3) 가난의 일상: 존재 의미 대신 생존만 남다 ······································· 35
• 2. 책임으로 버틴 소년기: 의미의 과잉과 결핍 ······································· 36
• 1) ‘쉬면 안되는 사람’이라는 자기 의미 ·················································· 36
• 2) 의미가 아닌 의무로 살아가는 법을 배우다 ······································ 37
• 3. 인정받기 위한 몸부림: 외적 성공에 의미를 걸다 ····························· 38
• 1) 가난을 벗어나기 위한 서사 ·································································· 38
• 2) 결혼 반대 경험: 인정 욕구로 재구성된 의미 체계 ························· 39
• 4. 무너진 성공의 서사: 의미 대체 전략의 한계 ····································· 41
• 1) 경제적 성공에 대한 강박: ‘벌어야만 가치 있는 사람’이란 자기규
• 정 ················································································································ 41
• 2) ‘나는 결국 쓸모없다’라는 결론으로 되돌아가다 ······························ 45
• 5. 절망의 정점에서 드러난 의미 공백 ······················································ 48
• 1) 축적된 상처의 폭발 ················································································ 48
• 2) 스치듯 지나간 희망 뒤에 겹쳐지는 억울함과 수치심 ···················· 50
• 3) 의미 붕괴가 초래한 자살 시도 ···························································· 52
• 6. 생존 이후의 전환점: 의미 재구성의 발단 ··········································· 54
• 1) 살아남았다는 사실의 재해석 ································································ 54
• 2) 관계와 존재 가치의 재발견 ·································································· 56
• 3) 의미 회복을 향한 첫걸음 ······································································ 57
• Ⅴ. 중년 남성 자살생존자의 삶의 이야기로부터 도출된 의미구
• 조 ·································································································· 61
• 1. 관계적 책임을 기반으로 한 존재 의미의 형성: 타인을 위해 살아야
• 한다는 삶의 틀 ·························································································· 61
• 2. 성취와 유능함에 기반한 자기 가치의 확인: 노동과 역할 수행을 통
• 한 존재 의미의 강화와 붕괴 ·································································· 62
• 3. 자기 돌봄과 자아 재구성을 통한 의미의 확장: 타자 중심에서 자기
• 중심으로 이동하는 의미 체계 ································································ 63
• 4. 중년 남성 자살생존자의 의미 재구성 과정에 대한 구조적 이해 ·· 64
• Ⅵ. 논의 ······························································································· 66
• 1. 결론 ·············································································································· 66
• 2. 의의 ·············································································································· 70
• 3. 제언 ·············································································································· 72
• 참고문헌 ····························································································· 74
• 부록 ····································································································· 81